Spare us these pretentious menus

Pretentious menus are a feature of modern restaurant life. But the menu for the annual dinner of the children’s charity, Ark, was an outrage even by today’s standards.

Pretentious menus are a feature of modern restaurant life. As Tom Parker Bowles says in the Mail on Sunday, "heinous crimes" are committed daily against grammar and good taste, with tomatoes routinely described as "heritage" or "vine-ripened" and steaks described in excruciating detail. But the menu for the annual dinner of the children's charity, Ark, was an outrage even by today's standards.

The dinner is always a gala event and last week's, hailed as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's "social debut", was no exception. Ark is a laudable charity. It raises huge amounts of money for underprivileged children. So the actors, socialites and hedge-fund managers who cough up £10,000 a head to attend its yearly jamboree may not be over-fussy about the food. All the same, one wonders why they put up with a menu which reads, as Parker Bowles put it, like "a masterpiece of the satirist's art".

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