Take care in early July and early October. They're not times to be taking risks: better to stick close to home and avoid entering into any serious financial commitments. My authority for this is Susan Miller, an astrologer who, according to the FT Magazine, has "transformed the art of astrology".
Millions across the globe follow Miller's interpretation of the stars on her website, AstrologyZone.com, and her mobile phone apps have been downloaded more than 2.5 million times. Twitter "lights up with chatter" from her 130,000-plus followers when she releases her forecasts.
Her audience, according to the FT's Emily Steel in an admiring piece, includes celebrities, the fashion elite and Wall Street types. "Businessmen love it," says the queen of the AstrologyZone, noting that rulers from Alexander the Great onwards searched for understanding in the stars.
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Miller was taught astrology by her mother (who practised it herself), then became friends with an executive at Time Warner. Using an astrological chart, she urged him to buy a lottery ticket, predicting a big win. He took her advice and won a Porsche.
The result, for Miller, was a book deal and, eventually, AstrologyZone. Now she writes horoscopes for Elle magazine in America and Vogue in Japan, and has appeared on CNN and for luxury brands such as Dior and Clarins. She was even at the opening of the Trump residence in Istanbul.
Altogether her media operation costs $400,000 a year to run, but while it's profitable thanks to subscriptions, advertisements and promotions, Miller says she isn't "rolling in dough".
Until a friend recommended the AstrologyZone to her, Emily Steel had never given astrology much thought. But she was struck by Miller's "level of accuracy". For example, she forecast last May as a "glorious month" for Steel, and so it turned out: it was the month she was hired by the FT.
Now, on the first day of every month, she opens the AstrologyZone app before "I've fully opened my eyes", often adding lucky dates to her calendar. Her friends think "she's gone a bit kooky", she says, but at a recent dinner in New York a gaggle of professional women "sheepishly" revealed their AstrologyZone habits "then buzzed with excitement on learning they weren't alone".
So what does the future hold? The coming year has some rough patches, not just in July or October the US budget expires on 27 March, the day of a "monstrous full moon". Horrible, says Miller, predicting a "bloody fight". Christmas won't be up to much. But June will be good. A "grand water time" (I don't know what it is either) begins then, and will unveil a period of good fortune. "It's a gift," she says. We'll see.
It's certainly true that many powerful people have been addicted to the stars I remember Nancy Reagan studying them avidly before key dates were put in her husband's diary. Personally, I'm not convinced. On the other hand, like, I suspect, many readers, I'd put more faith in astrologers than I would in economists.
Tabloid money Guardian editor plays on as his Titanic sinks
"The Guardian newspaper is sinking with huge losses but, like the band on the Titanic, its £500,000-a-year boss plays on," says Trevor Kavanagh in The Sun. "Ivory-tinkling Alan Rusbridger even found time to write a book about playing Chopin on his £25,000 piano. An angry Guardian grunt' fumed: We're working harder and harder, we're badly mismanaged and trying to cope with the threat of redundancies all a result of long-term financial illiteracy and lavish excess at the top. So I just want to say thanks for the series of articles three now, isn't it? about learning to play your Fazioli piano. They're brilliantly timed and I know they'll lift spirits. We always wondered how you filled your days, how you spent your fortune. Now we know.'"
In the Daily Mirror, Paul Routledge writes that Labour peer Lord Mandelson recently simpered: "I do not represent the Labour Party or Ed Miliband." The ex-Labour spin doctor has been "given a safe Labour seat, Cabinet roles in a Labour government, an EU Commissionership and the route to riches by Labour. Well, now he can go where he belongs the Conservative Party".
We've been told that "any attempt to minimise our tax bills will now be treated as a crime", says Jeremy Clarkson in The Sun. "So, if you pay your builder in cash, both you and he can expect to have your front door kicked down by the VAT man... That's fine. But only if the law works the other way round. So, if a government department wastes a single penny of the tax money we hand over, we can kick down their doors and cart them off to prison as well."
The Coalition has finally launched its Green Deal, says The Sun. "Families can get loans of up to £10,000 for energy-saving home improvements. But they will be clobbered by interest rates of at least 6.9% on their repayments higher than mortgages on bank loans. This barmy policy seems a waste of energy."
