Mary Poppins meets James Bond

One of the great American traditions that we thankfully haven't imported yet is the summer camp. Because of the long school holidays, it's customary stateside to pack children off for several weeks at the height of summer. This doesn't come cheap. A ten-week session at the International Riding Camp in upstate New York will set you back $20,000, and extras can soon pile on the costs: polo lessons are $250 for 90 minutes, says Leslie Albrecht of MarketWatch. Another summer camp on the campuses of Yale University, Wellesley College and Wheaton College charges $4,700 for a two-week cooking course run by professional chefs.

But sending their children away to "lavish rural retreats" is not enough for some parents, says Dana Schuster in The New York Post. They "hire professional packers to ensure their children's trunks are perfectly assembled, send them off on private planes with platters of smoked salmon and even bring the household staff to visiting day to dust bust the cabin". One private-jet company, Blade, even flies to various elite camps in the Upper New York region, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania and Maine. One-way seats cost $425 to $525.

Still, if this particular piece of insanity hasn't crossed the Atlantic, we Brits can make up for it in other ways, especially when it comes to younger children. Take the rise of the "super-nanny". Tired of dealing with Prince George's tantrums, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have reportedly hired one for £250,000, says Grazia magazine. The nanny is "fluent in six languages and will speak to the children in French and Spanish, as well as using her skills as a qualified child behavioural specialist" to calm her royal charge.

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We don't all have a spare quarter of a million for nannies, of course, but those eyeing a lucrative new career catering to the scions of wealthy families should be aware that the list of required skills gets ever longer. Student nannies at the prestigious Norland College in Bath "are being instructed by the former head of UK counter-terrorism on how to protect their young charges from the threat of kidnappers and terror gangs", says Patrick Sawer in The Daily Telegraph. This includes "lessons in self-defence along with learning evasive driving techniques at a racing circuit in Wiltshire". While this may seem more James Bond than Mary Poppins, demand for such training comes "from the world's oligarchs and super rich, whose children are seen as potential targets for ransom demands".

There are some jobs that even the most ambitious nanny might think twice about before taking. One couple in the Scottish borders is advertising a position on Childcare.co.uk for a live-in nanny for £50,000 a year, plus a generous holiday allowance. But the catch is that you should only apply if you are "prepared to face potential supernatural incidents", says The Sunday Herald. The couple emphasise that they "have not experienced any supernatural happenings" themselves, but "five nannies have left the role in the last year, each citing supernatural incidents as the reason, including strange noises, broken glass and furniture moving".

Tabloid money Prince Harry, the man who wouldn't be king

The Queen is looking for an extra pair of hands to ensure her tiaras sparkle, says Adam Helliker in the Sunday Express. Her Majesty is advertising for "a clutch of maids who can look after antiques (careful with Prince Philip!) and clean her jewellery". The "poor skivvies" will also have to unpack guests' luggage, press clothes, draw baths, assist with dressing and arrange breakfast trays. "Phew! All that for £16,500 a year." Mind you, there are perks. The successful candidates get to live in Buckingham Palace.

One job nobody wants at the palace is to actually be the monarch, Prince Harry revealed in an interview with Newsweek. That shouldn't surprise us, says Richard Madeley in the Daily Express. There has been a long line of reluctant monarchs. Even the Queen acceded "in a spirit of duty rather than anything else". But pundits have called Harry nave for his "frank avowal of how things really are", inviting republicans to respond, "'well, if the Windsors really don't want it, let's relieve them of their duties' not to mention their wealth at the last count, the Royal Family held £55bn in assets. But "this immensely likeable young man can relax", says Madeley. "He has plenty of credit in the bank of public affection."

"First, Theresa May couldn't seal the deal with the electorate," says Brian Reade in the Daily Mirror. Then she struggled to get Northern Ireland's Democratic Unionist Party onside. Then she forgot the protocol deal at the Queen's speech last week that says only the Speaker and Black Rod nod at the monarch. "And now she's been left in no doubt by her Brexit negotiators that, actually, no deal isn't better than a bad deal. Which means the only deal she hasn't screwed up is the Greggs £3 meal deal Although there may be plenty of time to do that soon when she ends up out of work."