Caption about the toy 2012 Saint-Péray, Les Vins de Vienne, Northern Rhône, France (£14.99, Waitrose Canary Wharf, John Lewis Foodhall Oxford Street, Waitrosedirect.com).
I have decided that in 2014 we shouldn’t be drinking rosé, sparkling or otherwise, solely on Valentine’s Day. We should, in fact, be drinking it whenever we wish and with whomever we choose and so, conversely, my chosen tipple for this overrated Saint’s day is a white wine.
This Saint-Péray is dripping with sex and this makes it perfectly suited to 14 February’s excess of amorous intentions. Aromatically it is irresistibly musky and alluring.
The palate is gossamer smooth, showing the marsanne grape’s curves of stone fruit and sweet spice in all of the right places. The pliable, sleek chassis flirts with your olfactory receptors and this inevitably causes the pulse to quicken and the temperature to rise.
It doesn’t matter with whom you uncork this temptress – it is inevitably going to work its magic. I have trialled this wine on your behalf and Mrs Jukes reported feeling lightheaded and swoony. I take this to be a positive result.
You must employ this spectacular elixir accurately and with confidence. Never has such a lustrous and magnetic perfume been released onto the market so prepare yourself for the results. As they say in the Rhône – bonne chance!
• Matthew Jukes is a winner of the International Wine & Spirit Competition’s Communicator of the Year (www.matthewjukes.com).